2009 wrap-up

I have been living in Portland for a year now. It's not one of the cities I ever imagined myself living in, but I dig it. I am not so connected to the city that I have to live here forever, but I am happy to be here. There's a lot going on and is all accessible by good public transportation - a must for me since I have never been able to afford to replace Gladys. While 2009 has not been one of the best years of my life, there were a lot of things that I am proud of myself for this year. Here they are, in no particular order:

I stuck by my job. I had a hard time getting a job when I first got here because I came when the recession was at its worst and competition for jobs was high. I ended up getting a job as an apartment complex manager. I admit, I took the first one I could get my hands on. It's not the job of my dreams. I am college-educated and make a dollar above poverty - and my rent comes out of my salary (contrary to popular belief, the apartment is not free). There is a lot of down time, and when I first took over the property, I had a lot to deal with in terms of cleaning up the messes that the previous managers made or did not clean up themselves. But, I stuck with it. I made the best of this property and acted on the potential. I evicted the worst tenants, recruited some great new ones, cleaned up the grounds, repainted the entire parking lot myself (by hand with a brush and painting tape to make the lines). My property started making money again. I used my creative skills to market and appeal to the current tenants to make sure they wanted to stick around. In other words, I did not want to let the fact that I am way out on the corner of Portland in a less-than-gorgeous place determine the kind of work I did. My boss loves the work I do, and I am setting myself up for future promotion. That is a big success for me because a couple of years ago, I let my unhappiness with my work affect the way I did it. Growth is a great thing!

I joined a gym again. There is a small gym half a block from where I live, and it's only $45 a month. I decided enough is enough with how shitty I felt all the time, so I decided to go again. And I decided to stick to it! I didn't focus on any long-term goals anymore; well, I did set long-term goals, but I didn't fixate on them to the point where I looked past all of the immediate successes. It became a simple thing: I liked how I felt when I did go, and didn't like how I felt when I did not go. I loved that I looked forward to going, and loved how refreshed I felt. I would feel a lot better about my successes if I ate better, but that's a new success to be reached. I feared it for a while and hurt when I used muscles I forgot I had. But all of that fear lives in my head, and it's easy to overcome. The bottom line is, no one is paying any attention to me there, and I don't need to look good or show off for anyone. I am there to be me, to have fun, and I do just that. This is one of the best things I have done this year, for sure.

I learned to appreciate being thrifty. I don't necessarily look down my nose at places like Goodwill, but I don't necessarily enjoy them. I can't stand the way they smell. That's because people donate stuff that isn't clean, and the store doesn't clean them before they put it out. However, my mother has always said places like Savers and Goodwill have gotten her through a lot of the times where she had very little to make a life with. I finally learned to appreciate that from her. I used to get everything from Target and considered Old Navy being thrifty. This year, I got almost everything second-hand from thrift stores. Not all of it is shit, either. A lot of it is fantastic stuff that I was lucky to stumble across. I got my espresso machine for $7.50 and I use it daily. My coffee machine was $10, my dinette set was $60, my dresser $30 (before paint and new handles). My sofa is borrowed from my mother, my tables were all donated, and my bed is brand new (can't compromise on a comfortable bed). I love the way it all works for me, too! I spent maybe 25% of what the stuff is worth brand new, which allowed me to get other things brand new without having to feel like I am going broke making a comfortable home. Now when I am looking for something, I check out thrift stores before I go anywhere else. I can luck out and get a crock pot for $6 and a brand-new mountain bike for $25. I still can't stand how they smell and can't bring myself to wear second-hand shoes, but when I can have a 27" TV for $30 and a Food Saver for $10, I can hold my nose!

I went somewhere new! Cosmo once said that all women should go somewhere once a year that they have never been to before. For all the advice they recycle over and over again, this one I liked the most, and have tried to follow. This year, my broke ass still had the chance to venture somewhere new - Seattle. It's 3 1/2 hours by train from Portland, and I went because my friend Jeff was there and had tickets to the Brandi Carlisle concert. (Great show, btw.) Seattle was awesome! I was only there for one day and therefore only explored the waterfront area, but I instantly decided this was a great place to be and somewhere I could see myself relocating to. I want to go back for a longer trip, especially if I still might be leaving Portland next year. But if the Pacific Northwest remains my permanent location, I would not mind venturing up to Seattle. It also got me excited to want to continue trekking north to Canada, somewhere I have never been. Cosmo was right in that exploring somewhere new doesn't always mean exotic, faraway lands. Seattle is so close that I could go often, and there's a lot to do. Yay me!

I went back to school. It's not like this is a big revelation for me, since I just finished the work for my BA in history. But it wasn't until my last year of school that I decided I really wanted to pursue law and go to law school. When I looked at LSAT exams, I didn't feel ready. I decided to tack another year of school on and go for a second bachelor's, this time a BS in criminal justice. I know it's not required for law school, but at least I can become more familiar with terminology, theory, and application. I am a visual person, and the ability to picture something makes it easier for me to follow it down the path. And if for some reason law school just doesn't come my way, a CJ degree can lead me to a lot of social work careers, or other things. But I am not going for all of this just to settle. Law school is still something I want to do and I am prepping myself for success. In the past I would have just considered the opportunity passed, and let it go. I am proud of myself for jumping on the train, even as it pulled out of the station.

So those are my five best things I did for myself in 2009. I hope you can all look at what you did for yourselves and find more success than setbacks.

My 5 Favorite Christmas Moves of All Time

I am a sucker for Christmas. I don't wait for December, either. I have been known to start itching for Christmas music in July. I like to make it look like Christmas threw up in my home. I am devastated when I cannot have a tree. I love the cold, love the festivities, love the decor. I hate the shopping, but I don't fret on it because I shop all year long. Why wait if the right gift comes up in the spring?

However, I am very picky about my Christmas movies. There are certain movies that I can only watch at the holidays. I don't like all Christmas movies - some were any old story that they happened to set at Christmas, some were bad versions of good movies. While I have a mile-long list of favorite Christmas movies, I have narrowed them down to my top five. There are many classics that should have made the list, and if I went for top 10 probably would be on, but these made the top five because I have to watch them every year. Are my picks similar to yours?


5. The Ref (1994). Many holiday movies center around family - more specifically, the disfunction of family gatherings. It's easy to see why. So many people see themselves in these movies. They love their families, but don't look forward to spending time with the aunts and uncles who ask when they're getting married, or how they're too fat/skinny, or when they're finally going to do something with their lives, etc. Some families border on having full-blown arguments and fights at Christmas. Really, who wants to be around that?

What if you have no choice? This is the dilemma Denis Leary finds himself in in "The Ref." Leary plays a burglar who breaks into a mansion in a small upscale Connecticut town. The police are after him, and he takes a couple hostage (Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis) in order to hide out in their home. The problem is, this couple cannot stop fighting. They pick fights with each other and argue about the most mundane things because they are so unhappy with each other. Lucky for the audience, their mud-slinging is absolutely hilarious! Leary has no choice but to hide out with them, and he cannot stand it! It gets even worse when the rest of the family arrives, and they are no better. The mother of the family (Glynis Johns) holds her sons' nads in a jar, and reminds them every day that they owe their lives to her. In the case of Spacey and Davis, it's literally, because she owns the home they live in, and she charges them 18% interest on the loan she gave them. Spacey's brother is bullied by the wife who cannot appreciate anything and snaps at everyone, including her kids. The kids, of course, cannot wait to get to Uncle Lloyd and Aunt Carolyn's house because they love watching them fight. And Leary is the only reasonable character in the entire story. He cannot understand how a family can treat each other this way. He looks at his own life - mid 30s, no home, no family, no stable grounds - and cannot for the life of him understand how people who have it all could be so miserable with each other. Ultimately, he gets Lloyd and Carolyn to finally get it all out and see that their problems had one main underlying source - Lloyd's mother. In housing Leary and eventually helping him evade police, Lloyd and Carolyn finally come to understand and see each other, and forgive each other.

I don't just love this movie for its hilarity, I love it for its message. Sometimes people need to shut the eff up and listen to each other, especially at Christmas. Family cannot trample on each other.

4. Elf (2003). I am at the point now where I am indifferent to Will Ferrell. He is undoubtedly one of the greatest comic actors of the decade, and he was on a major hotstreak with his movies. In looking back, I found myself over him when I saw "Blades of Glory." (Please forgive me for admitting I saw it.) I realized there that I was seeing the same Will Ferrell over and over again. However, I look back at some of his better movies - namely "Talladega Nights" and "Anchorman" - and see that he is best when he is among an ensemble cast and does not have to carry the entire film by himself. In fact, in "Anchorman," Paul Rudd and Steve Carrell completely steal the show. But that allows Ferrell to be the man-child he is so effectively, because it doesn't have to be forced down your throat in order to make the movie work.

Will Ferrell was the perfect actor for Buddy the Elf. After all, why not have a man-child play, well, a man-child? Ferrell plays an orphaned baby who snuck into Santa's sack and ended up at the North Pole. He grew up among the elves and found out when he was an adult that he actually is a human, not an elf. He decides to return to the US to find his father, who he learns is on the naughty list and living in New York City. Fish-out-of-water is not exactly the right term for Buddy. More like alien invasion, because in theory, he has never seen a world like Manhattan. Despite the warnings by Santa, he eats the gum off the railings and runs in front of the yellow cabs. Buddy meets Jovie (jovial? Santa? get it?), a pretty girl with no Christmas spirit, who becomes his only friend in the city. Then he finally meets his father (James Caan), who doesn't really exhibit naughty list-worthy behavior as much as he exhibits overworked publisher working for a crappy company behavior. Buddy goes home with him, introduces his family to his four major food groups (candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup; if you were a chick you wouldn't be wearing yellow tights!), and encourages them to start enjoying life together again.

This movie is not without flaws, but it is damn funny, and Will Ferrell is perfect in it. Personally, I prefer the FAO Schwartz toy scene in "Big" to the Gimple's scenes in "Elf." What makes this movie so refreshing for me is Will Ferrell being a grown-up who is fully invested in the magic of Christmas. He believes in it with every fiber of his being, including calling out a Santa impostor at Gimple's. ("You sit on a throne of lies!") He gets weird looks from everyone, but doesn't understand that he's the unusual one. All he knows is that the people around him are in need of Christmas spirit, and he's happy to be the one to bring it to them. Certainly the comedic performance makes this movie a must-see, but so does the overall message - Christmas spirit is ageless.

3. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989). This year, one of my favorite podcasts, "Filmspotting," did a top 5 list of their favorite screen fathers. Matty Robinson chose as his favorite father, Clark Griswold." I could not agree more. Here is a father who will do absolutely anything to make sure his family has the best time ever. In this movie, he wants to produce the best Christmas for his family, while at the same time, dealing with disfunctional relatives. Among these relatives are his cousin and her husband, who are disasterous human beings with disasterous children. Clark's production of a family Christmas includes covering his house with so many lights it blinds the neighbors and causes the local power company to switch to nuclear mode. His present to his family is to put a swimming pool in the backyard of their home, but this gift is dependent on a Christmas bonus he anticipates, and unfortunately does not receive, from his job. This causes Clark to go absolutely haywire, and naturally, hilarity ensues.

The Griswold family adventures are timeless classics, simply because Clark will not rest until his family has a good time. For Christmas, these adventures add the element of the crazy family. Again, crazy family holiday movie. But like "The Ref" and "Elf," it just works. Clark will always be the most over-the-top father in the world, but that's an admirable quality to have, especially at Christmastime. Adults will live vicariously through Clark because they would only imagine doing the things Clark does, and kids will laugh because Clark is that father that they want, practically killing himself to make his family happy.

2. Love Actually (2003). It's interesting how my second favorite Christmas movie of all time is among my top 5 favorite movies of all time, but none of the rest of these are. The criteria there is simple - this is a movie I can watch anytime, day or night, all year long, and love. This British gem is a fairly complicated movie to pull off because there are so many different characters and stories that are somehow intertwined with each other. It's like a six-degrees type of movie. They all experience the same theme, though, which is love at Christmas time.

The movie counts down from five weeks before Christmas, all the way down to Christmas Eve. Prime Minister David (Hugh Grant) is single, newly elected, and instantly develops a crush on Natalie, his assistant with the mouth of a sailor. She lives next door to Mia, who has a crush on her boss (Alan Rickman, one of my favorite actors in the world). He indulges that crush just a little too far at one moment, upsetting his wife, Karen (Emma Thompson), who happens to be the prime minister's sister. Another one of his employees, Sarah (Laura Linney, another eternal favorite of mine), has a crush on Karl (Rodrigo Santoro), who she doesn't realize likes her too. When they finally get the chance to go for it, she is interrupted by needing to care for her schizophrenic brother, and learns she will never have the love she wants as long as she has her brother's care, but she has resolved to accept it. Karen's friend Daniel (Liam Neeson), is a recent widower and caretaker of her son, Sam, who has fallen in love for the first time with a girl at his school. Sarah's friends, Peter and Juliette (Keira Knightley), are newlyweds, to the heartbreak of Peter's friend Mark, who silently holds a torch for the stunning bride of his best friend. At their wedding reception, the catering company's employee, Colin, decides English girls are way too stuck up for him, and he decides to go to America ("to a fabulous place called Wisconsin!"), much to the disgust of his friend Tony, who tells him he needs to accept that he is "a lonely, ugly asshole." Tony's day job is as an assistant director on a high-end Italian erotic film, and he is directing stand-ins (John and Just Judy), who find they are hitting it off while naked and in rather compromising positions. Another friend of Peter and Juliette is Jamie (Colin Firth), who learns after coming home from their wedding, that his girlfriend is sleeping with his brother. He leaves her and heads to the country to work on his novel, where he falls in love with his housekeeper, Aurelia. And all of this takes place while Billy Mack (Bill Nighy) is staging his comeback and trying to top the biggest pop group in Britain for the spot of Christmas number one, with his cover of "Love is All Around."

Wow, I cannot believe I got through all of that! Just shows how many times I have seen this movie. It is wonderfully acted, wonderfully written, and wonderfully directed. No one character holds more than 20 minutes of total screen time, but it is maximized. No time is wasted in this movie. Every story has its beginning, middle, and end, and may not end happily, but ends with more emotion because it happens at Christmas. Again, a movie I will watch forever, but ranks #2 on my Christmas movies list because it's about love at Christmas, and about how love is full of imperfections, even when you don't want them to be.



Drumroll, please...



1. Home Alone (1990). When this movie first came out, it was one of the most successful box office movies of all time. As of today, hollywood.com listed it as the 38th most successful film of all time with a domestic take of almost $286 million. (Titanic still sits at the top with $600 million domestically.) The cute kid from Uncle Buck gets a starring role as a smart-aleck kid who gets accidentally left behind by his family, who takes off for France for the holiday. While they are gone, said kid starts by enjoying doing everything he's normally not allowed to do (eating junk food, staying up late, watching bad movies, going through his brother's personal stash) before reality kicks in and he has to get a few essentials to survive until his family comes home, like milk and laundry detergent. In these outings, he comes face to face with a couple of would-be robbers who, the night before his family left, posed as police officers to check out the house. In the developing story, he realizes he misses his family, that he was sorry for being such a pill, and he wants his family to come home for Christmas. This realization is also aided by his elderly neighbor, who the kids in the neighborhood fear, but ends up being in a similar situation - on the outs with his own family and lonely at Christmas. Kevin is not free from the burglars, though, and he rigs his entire house to keep the burglars from successfully taking anything in the house. They almost catch him when he tries to escape, but with the neighbor's help, survives. And after all that, Kevin's Christmas wish comes true when his family comes home Christmas day.

Again, not the most perfect movie on the planet, but so fun. Macaulay Culkin did quite a few roles after this one, but none as charismatic and endearing as playing Kevin. Not to mention, this was a 10-year-old kid who carried a movie by himself. That's not easy to do. This movie resonated with kids because every kid has imagined having their families disappear, and they loved watching Kevin go nuts. The measures Kevin went to in order to protect the house were so innovative for a kid his age, and we as kids ate it all up. The more the burglars got hurt, the funnier it was. And when Kevin put a spider on Marv's face and Marv screamed like a little girl, I died laughing. I still do. That is still my single favorite moment in the movie.

It's so weird to watch it today. Now when I watch it, I watch it as an adult. I think of the things critics like to say about this movie because they cannot put themselves in a kid's shoes. They cannot suspend disbelief, which you have to because you know what Kevin goes through is not plausible. How did he manage to set all of that up in an hour? Where did he get the time to clean it all up so spotlessly? How did he not burn the house down? Why did the mother never mention to the police when she called from France that her son is not only home alone, but is EIGHT YEARS OLD? Why didn't anyone else, like the old man, call the police to say the 8-year-old next door is alone? It's all of those things that only adults cannot get around. That's why this movie is not necessarily for adults, unless you saw it through a child's eyes first. It's seeing it as an adult but through a child's eyes that makes me appreciate so many things I never noticed as a child, either. The opening segment of the family going nuts the night before they left for France showed a family basically being rude to Kevin. They called him hopeless, a disease, a little jerk. As an adult, I think that Kevin is not being so bad that he deserves that kind of treatment. But remember, this is a movie from Kevin's point of view. He pereceives his family treating him like dirt. He doesn't think he's being that bad, and when he gets pushed to his breaking point, he thinks he's being treated unfairly. Also, director Chris Columbus (of the first two Harry Potter films as well) did a very good job of shooting everything from down low, which is Kevin's viewpoint. All of the adults are shot from Kevin's point of view looking up. I never noticed that as a kid. Just something I can appreciate today. By the way, Spielberg did it in E.T. as well, so it's just good style influencing good style.

This movie is my number one because I can only watch it at Christmas. It makes me laugh because it's so silly. And I love the message, which is that you may want to get rid of your family, and you may actually succeed sometimes, like the old man did, but you can't really get everything you want without your family. You are lonely, and that's not a good feeling. Like them or not, they're your family. Brat or not, Kevin still deserves a good family, and Katherine (his mother) uses that guilt and determination to not rest until she gets home to her son. It's not a serious story, but it's one that is right for its target audience, which is kids and family.


Yes, those are my top five. I know there are some of your favorites missing, like "It's a Wonderful Life," "How the Grinch Stole Christmas," "A Christmas Story," "White Christmas," or "Miracle on 34th Street." Those don't register on this list because I don't necessarily make a point to catch those every year. Nor are they automatically the first movies I think of when I think of Christmas must-see movies. Since some of these movies are fairly recent, they may be replaced by better Christmas movies someday. I hope so. Christmas movies, when done well, are so wonderful. I hope to write a good one someday. In the meantime, I like my favorites, so I will keep them for a while. I hope my favorites are some of yours, too.

Touched by an Angel

About 10 years ago, I learned the most wonderful lesson about how much a Christmas present can really mean to someone. I took a speech class with a teacher named Kat Carroll at Orange Coast College. She was wonderful on so many levels and I regret not taking more classes that she offered. I remember my friend Tim did, and still speaks highly of her. Anyway, the Languages building at OCC had an Angel Tree at Christmastime in the lobby. I had never heard of an Angel Tree and had probably passed this tree several times in my transition between classes. Kat grabbed several tags off the Angel Tree and brought them to class. She asked us what we had wanted for Christmas that year. I remember wanting a new stereo. I think there was a guy who wanted snowboarding gear, or rims for his truck, or something to that effect. Then Kat took a moment to read what some of the tags were on the Angel Tree. One person wanted a new pair of socks. Another wanted postage stamps. Another wanted a ladies' XL t-shirt. Another an electric razor.

I remember being humbled and moved when she was reading the tags. I didn't really feel like a selfish child when I heard the requests, but I did remember making the comparison in my head. I wanted a stereo, and I was probably going to get the stereo, but I didn't think a wonderful new stereo would make me feel half as fulfilled as a new pair of socks. I thought about how simple some people choose to live, how happy they were without major material items. I thought about the woman who wanted postage stamps. She probably lived away from her family and wanted to keep in touch. I thought about the woman who wanted a t-shirt. Maybe she wanted something more feminine and usually had to resort to mens' shirts. Maybe she had not had a new shirt in so long that just one would make her whole year. There was a man who wanted a western novel. Maybe in his youth he idolized John Wayne, and as the end of his life drew near, he wanted to reflect on the best days of his life.

This was the first real lesson I had about how you don't have to have a lot of money to be able to give to someone else. A t-shirt or a pair of socks would cost less than $5. An electric razor would be more costly, but good ones could be found for around $30. I could not come up with one reason to not participate in Angel Tree giving. I didn't have to limit myself to just one item, either. For a budget of $25, I could cover 3-4 tags from the tree. Even then, I did not think that was enough. I could not wait to tell my mother about the Angel Tree. She too loved the idea that so much could be accomplished for so little. Together, we covered eight tags that year. We also thought about how to maximize the requests, so we went to Costco. The man who wanted socks got a 10-pack. The woman who wanted an XL t-shirt got a 6-pack in varying colors and prints. We got 2 books of stamps. A woman who wanted new hair brushes got a kit with brushes, combs, clips, and a new mirror. We felt good knowing we had gone above and beyond, and that it meant the world to someone. It was okay for us knowing we would never meet the recipients of these gifts. It wasn't about the recognition. It was about true Christmas spirit.

I didn't want to forget the feeling of giving. I made a decision that for the rest of my life, as long as I could give, I would. With the exception of last Christmas when I was unemployed and moving to Oregon, I have made charitable donations every year for the holidays. I have progressed to also giving presents to Toys for Tots, local toy or clothing drives, and food bank drives. I have not always waited for Christmas either, nor have I only donated at places that offer incentives for donations. This year, I have not found a nearby Angel Tree (I didn't see one at Macy's and have not looked for local churches), but I have made sure to give to Toys for Tots, and I am continuing to donate to food drives. Since I buy a lot of my staples at Costco, I can certainly part with two or three cans out of an 8-pack.

I hope you have the priviledge of knowing what it means to give. You really don't have to have a lot to give a lot. Nor do you have to wait for the holidays. Take advantage of when goods go on clearance throughout the year. Can you budget $10 per month to pick something out of the Target endcaps? What about taking one can out of each Costco pack you buy, and setting it aside for the fall food drives? It is so simple, and it means everything. Please find the nearest opportunity to give. It is amazing how something seemingly small in your world means everything to someone else.

By the way, I did get my stereo that year, and it lasted several years. But the knowledge I gained from the Angel Tree continues to be the greatest gift I have ever received.

5 Reasons I still love "Beverly Hills, 90210"

I love "Beverly Hills, 90210." The show first aired in 1989 and ran until 2000, and I was with it almost the entire way. I didn't watch the last two or three seasons because by then, the show had become a parody of itself. I am not surprised, since many shows that run that long do end up becoming so dreb. Still, the first five to six years of the show were what I was all about when I was young. I owe my life to Soap Network for running reruns of this show for the last six years. I even know how to time it by now - a series takes about four months to run by showing two episodes per weekday, so I can usually figure out when the end comes and they start running the first season again. And yes, the DVR gets set.

Personally, I love how I can remember certain episodes and where I was when those episodes first aired. I was in Hawaii on vacation when Steve left on Christmas to find his birth mother. I was laughing in French class in high school with my friend Kim, delerious from not enough sleep, chanting "Donna Martin graduates!" I watched the prom episode when I was still a sophomore, hoping my prom in two years would be so beautiful. (Real story for another day.) I was the right demographic for this series, and it mattered to me. I did not have the lifestyle to keep up with the Kellys or Brendas, but I enjoyed living vicariously through them.

I still enjoy the reruns on Soapnet, though today much of the show is so dated. Understandable, since Brian Austin Green would never be able to keep up with today's musicians. Here are 5 reasons I still consider 90210 one of my favorite guilty pleasures.

1. The show was always relevant. The show was hailed for doing what no other show was doing at the time, which was representing real teens with real teen issues. Brenda was dealing with her first love, losing her virginity, thinking she was pregnant, and having her best friend and her first love fall for each other. Brandon was constantly trying to live up to his father's high expectations. Kelly was fighting a reputation and an absentee father. Donna had dyslexia. David's mother was schizophrenic. Andrea had to live a lie to be able to attend the best school around. There were episodes about condoms, gang violence, teacher/student intimate relationships, parents dictating who you can date, steroids, drugs and alcoholism, shoplifting, running away from home, and on and on. If it mattered to teenagers, 90210 covered it. And it gave it its due, instead of just glossing over it and tying it up with a nice little bow by the end of the show.

2. Steve's adoption was never forgotten. TV is notorious for having a character nearly killed one week, then acting as if nothing happened the next week. Donna was attacked in her apartment from behind by a would-be rapist. Most women would not be able to take people sneaking up on her from behind ever again. A character's history often gets forgotten as a show progresses. Steve's adoption, the very core of who he was, was around for the entire series. He first revealed it at the spring dance, then went to look for his mother later that year. His conflict with his father came to a head when he found out his adopted father really was his birth father. Then when he and Janet had their baby, he vowed to the baby never to make her feel like she would not know her father. It was his most vulnerable character trait, and the show kept it going the entire time. Nicely done.

3. Senior year. This was one of the best seasons of the show. Many felt as though the show should have ended after this season to avoid the many inevitable shark jumps, and I would have been fine with it. So many episodes this season dealt with the end of life as they knew it, and the understanding they would soon face with the world that would either embrace them, or chew them up and spit them out. Andrea developed another crush on a teacher, this time Gil Meyers (the first was with her summer drama teacher, played by Michael St. Gerard, who was Link Larkin in the original movie "Hairspray"). Steve tried to break into the school to change his grades when he realized his slacker grades would get him nowhere near his dream college. Brenda and Dylan broke up when they came to terms with the fact that their infidelity over the summer while Brenda was in Paris meant they had grown apart. Brenda and Brandon had to fight for the only out-of-state tuition their parents could afford. Brandon got a new girlfriend, Nikki, a cute girl who still could not hold a candle to Emily Valentine. The school board snuck legislation past the students that pissed them off - no drinking or being caught drunk at prom, or no graduation. If only Donna had taken them seriously. Looking back, the writing in this season was pretty good.



4. Senior activities. This could be lumped with the previous category, but the final five episodes of the season were why I loved the show so much. Starting with the prom, the beautiful moments where they learned to love the ones they were with, since they weren't all with the ones they loved. Donna got bombed on champagne and nearly puked all over her stunning gown. She got busted, nearly didn't graduate, and heralded one of my favorite chants to come from TV. As anything pertaining to Aaron Spelling's child would be, Donna escaped unscathed, leading to senior breakfast, the wills, and the skit show. The retrospective flashbacks were fun to see, if just for the evolution of Brandon's hair. Then graduation day arrived, a day I defy you to not cry in. To top it off, they all attempt breaking and entering protected land, and deface the Hollywood sign as their legacy. Come on, that's what they did! But I loved it, so I can forgive them. These last couple of weeks were the right way to wrap a season that spoke more than others about the excitement of completing high school, an event that can only happen once, and it should be special.

5. The first year of college. I know I am going through a streak, but this is where I thought the writing on the show was at its peak. A year later, it would start to spiral. In real life, this was the time when Shannen Doherty's personal antics were casting a dark cloud over the production. There were a lot of audience members who graduated at the same time as the cast, and some who would not graduate for another couple of years. This season was inspiring for those who may not have been sure what to do post high school. It showed how exciting college can be - huge new campus, tons of parties, activities, people, social events, Greek life, classes, and opportunities. Most of them dove right in to college life by attending parties, pledging fraternities and sororities, or trying for a spot on the school's paper. It was true to college in one major respect: you are a tiny fish in a huge ocean, and no one cares about you or your success. David learned this the hard way when he almost lost his first semester of college from getting hooked on speed. While those of us who have gone through college can now poke holes in the 90210 version of college freshman year, it was a good way to get kids excited about college.


Clearly, I do not have too many opinions beyond the high school and early college episodes. As I said above, the writing took a tumble. Donna became a holier-than-thou whore who wore belly shirts to convents and got her ass beaten by Ray. Valerie tried to fill Brenda's void and did well, but how do you manage to get through life with these people when they clearly cannot stand being around you, and vice versa? Andrea's growth in life was major by having a baby in real life and on the show, but her judgmental nature finally got the best of me, and I found myself looking forward to the day she would leave the show. Another new character, Claire, was just as judgmental and a bitch to Steve, and I often wondered what about her I am supposed to be interested in. I was so sad when Dylan's wife died (or, was killed by a hit issued by her mobster father, meant for Dylan, who supposedly killed his father too). Kelly became a New York model, despite being too short and stout, then got caught in a fire with a lesbian who was in love with her. Then she joined a cult. See the absurdity start to sink in? It starts to look like they are trying to find anything they haven't really done yet and try to jam it into episodes as two-fers. Eventually Dylan left, and by then I did too. Then when I heard Brandon left, and they still did two or three more seasons, I wondered why. Three original cast members were still there, and they were hanging on by whatever fibers of rope were left. The show ran its course before the end came, and it was not relevant, serious, or interesting anymore.

In the meantime, I have the prime of the series to remind me of why this show was once enjoyable. It has been sixteen long years since the gang graduated from high school, and I have lived those sixteen years with a lot of reflection and education. Maybe it's the hindsight that makes the series seem as good now as it was then, but the place it takes me to makes it worth my DVR space when it airs.

The Lost Art of the Thank You

I don't have kids of my own yet, so I like to play aunty to the 30-something kids living in this complex. I am the coolest aunty around, too. Every day when the school bus drops them off, they stop by my office to get a piece of candy. This month, there is a daily scavenger hunt, where kids can find a hidden object somewhere in the complex. The first kid who finds it and brings it to the office wins a prize. I have cool prizes too, in that I didn't stretch beyond $5 for any prize but found cool things. In essence, I get to spoil my kids and still send them home at the end of the day.

What I noticed this year is that the kids have no problem coming in, taking candy and prizes, then just being on their way. The words "thank you" never seem to make their way from their vocal chords to their tongues and out of their mouths. I know it is not my job to teach someone else's children their manners, but at the age of seven, you should know that requests are accompanied by 'please,' and fulfillments are accompanied by 'thank you.' I am surprised I am not hearing this from these kids. I did bring it up to them once. I was having a particularly foul day and decided I would take the candy away if the kids weren't going to show me any appreciation for what I am giving them. When I asked them why they never thanked me for the candy, they all said, "I say thank you!" Of course I know who typically does and who does not. Maybe they did not realize they weren't saying it, or they were being kids and did not think anything of it until it was brought to their attention. Today, some kids say it daily, while others are too distracted by being home from school to spare the milli-second to say thank you.

Perhaps thanking people for giving them things is also lacking because kids are developing a sense of entitlement instead of gratitude. It is not uncommon for me to be out of my office when the kids come home, and they miss their candy for the day. I cannot tell you how many kids have told me they think they deserve two pieces of candy that day because they did not get any candy the day before. That's right, DESERVE. What, pray tell, did these kids do to deserve even one piece? At what point was the candy a payment for gracing me with their presence, rather than a token of my appreciation to them? Why am I a bad guy because my job took priority over their candy? Is that shafted feeling why they will not thank me for the gift of candy?

Again, I am not responsible for teaching them manners. However, I learned young that "please" and "thank you" are three of the most important words I will ever use in my life. These words have been the difference between good and bad service, good and bad impressions, and receiving versus losing things. I understand that I am not entitled to anything, and I need to be appreciative of the things I receive. Of course, there were moments in my life when my gratitude was lacking, but I always feel like I am being rude if I don't say "please" or "thank you." I hope that feeling comes to fruition to these kids sooner rather than later. If I am bothered this much by gratitude over candy, I can only imagine how others feel when they are not appreciated for giving much more.

Are books ruining movies?

By now, everyone and their mothers has seen the new Twilight film, "New Moon." I've seen it. In fact, I joke that I am a hater, therefore I saw it twice. I have also read the books, as have millions of people who are not quite sure what good writing is anymore. If you know me, then you know my take on the books: slow, bad and choppy writing, and in the case of "Breaking Dawn," hours of my life I will never get back. Yes, I think "Breaking Dawn" was one of the WORST books I have ever read. But I digress...

One thing that always happens when books are made into movies is the inevitable comparison between the film and the movie. Most people are die-hards for the book version of a story. They want a certain scene to be featured, or a certain character to get more screen time. Often times, the scene in the film differs so greatly from the scene they imagined while reading the book that they cannot bring themselves to accept the director's vision. Sometimes audiences give the benefit of the doubt to the movie's director, knowing a novel of more than 150 pages will probably not have every aspect of the book shown in the film. Others are not so forgiving. They simply cannot accept that the film did not include enough of what they wanted from the book.

The problem I have is with the latter group. In "New Moon," so many people were walking out of the theater, thinking, "(insert movie scene here) was not in the book!" or "I can't believe they didn't talk about (insert book moment here)." It was impossible for them to watch a movie without comparing it to the book. From where I sat (and I have sat in this seat in many film adaptations), these people were not going to be satisfied with the final film result anyway. Don't get me wrong - the screaming in the theater when the teenage boy and the skinny Brit took the screen were distracting enough. But that's not the story they're throwing panties at the screen for; it's the actors. As for the story, they are already thinking of what was in the book that was not in the film. In this movie, that includes the omission of the introduction of imprinting and Carlisle's backstory not as flushed out, and the inclusion of the fight between Edward and Felix, a fight people complain was not in the book in the first place. Before the next scene of the film has begun, book die-hards are already casting judgments in their minds as to how true to the book the previous scene was.

As far as I am concerned, those who are so die-hard for the books have already decided on some subconscious level that they are not going to enjoy the movie, even if they do on the surface. They just cannot get fully absorbed into the movie if they are thinking about the book. However much they enjoyed the book, the movie has been ruined for them. They cannot respect the director's vision or the actors' interpretation.

The bottom line is that no matter what any book says, the film has to be an interpretation of the material in the book, not a literal translation. Unless the writer of the book becomes the writer of the script and the director of the film, the writer's imagination will not be fully realized, no matter what. The film has to be its own story. It has to take the book's story, theme, characters, and biggest moments and re-create them for the screen. Naturally, that means not everything will be included. Not all of the most memorable or touching moments from a book are right for a film. Not all of a character's backstory or internal thoughts can be told in a movie; not only is it time-consuming, it's boring to film audiences. A director has to make the decision to either enhance or omit a scene if it makes for a better film. A book can take umpteen pages to tell a story, whereas a film has 120 pages, give or take, to tell a story. A book can tell, but a film has to show.

For those who want to remain loyal to the books, that's fine. There are several books that I have enjoyed so much more than the film version, mostly because I felt as if the film didn't get the heart and soul of the book. Other times, I have fallen in love with a film adaptation so much that the book only makes me want to watch the movie again. Regardless, I should never have to read a book before going to see a movie. I should not have to do my homework on what the character's are supposed to be feeling or where they came from, or what a scene was supposed to be like. I am only concerned with the story the director chose to tell. If it's not on the screen, I don't care. If the director chose to include, enhance, or omit a piece of information, I am only concerned with how that makes me feel in the context of the film. I don't want to know who my characters are and where they came from before the previews end. I want the director to give that information to me. I want to feel what they feel in the moment without already knowing where it will go next.

As long as popular books are being made into films, the books will ruin the movies for the fans. Fans will still go to the theaters, have their 2-hour visceral experiences, and head to the nearest bar or Starbucks to talk about how "they can't believe that scene wasn't in the movie!" And when someone tells them they didn't like the movie or didn't understand something, they will simply say, "well, if you had read the book, you would know." Books are wonderful, but they are ruining movies.