I don't have kids of my own yet, so I like to play aunty to the 30-something kids living in this complex. I am the coolest aunty around, too. Every day when the school bus drops them off, they stop by my office to get a piece of candy. This month, there is a daily scavenger hunt, where kids can find a hidden object somewhere in the complex. The first kid who finds it and brings it to the office wins a prize. I have cool prizes too, in that I didn't stretch beyond $5 for any prize but found cool things. In essence, I get to spoil my kids and still send them home at the end of the day.
What I noticed this year is that the kids have no problem coming in, taking candy and prizes, then just being on their way. The words "thank you" never seem to make their way from their vocal chords to their tongues and out of their mouths. I know it is not my job to teach someone else's children their manners, but at the age of seven, you should know that requests are accompanied by 'please,' and fulfillments are accompanied by 'thank you.' I am surprised I am not hearing this from these kids. I did bring it up to them once. I was having a particularly foul day and decided I would take the candy away if the kids weren't going to show me any appreciation for what I am giving them. When I asked them why they never thanked me for the candy, they all said, "I say thank you!" Of course I know who typically does and who does not. Maybe they did not realize they weren't saying it, or they were being kids and did not think anything of it until it was brought to their attention. Today, some kids say it daily, while others are too distracted by being home from school to spare the milli-second to say thank you.
Perhaps thanking people for giving them things is also lacking because kids are developing a sense of entitlement instead of gratitude. It is not uncommon for me to be out of my office when the kids come home, and they miss their candy for the day. I cannot tell you how many kids have told me they think they deserve two pieces of candy that day because they did not get any candy the day before. That's right, DESERVE. What, pray tell, did these kids do to deserve even one piece? At what point was the candy a payment for gracing me with their presence, rather than a token of my appreciation to them? Why am I a bad guy because my job took priority over their candy? Is that shafted feeling why they will not thank me for the gift of candy?
Again, I am not responsible for teaching them manners. However, I learned young that "please" and "thank you" are three of the most important words I will ever use in my life. These words have been the difference between good and bad service, good and bad impressions, and receiving versus losing things. I understand that I am not entitled to anything, and I need to be appreciative of the things I receive. Of course, there were moments in my life when my gratitude was lacking, but I always feel like I am being rude if I don't say "please" or "thank you." I hope that feeling comes to fruition to these kids sooner rather than later. If I am bothered this much by gratitude over candy, I can only imagine how others feel when they are not appreciated for giving much more.
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